yin, yang and control

Nowadays, the yin and yang are used in all kinds of scenarios. People in general understand the two opposites idea: night-day, push-pull, yield-strike, man-woman, fire-water, heaven-earth, life-death. The yin and the yang are the tao, the wheel of life.

Side note: I did not put good-bad or evil-righteous. In the tao, the circling or cycling is what makes it good. As in: every time has a season-you know the scripture just think it real quick...


ok thanks. Less typing the stuff we know right?

Being a teacher for me is all about helping young people through a tough, pivotal and influential part of their lives. Changing lives through music (for you Brother Nelsen fans) is my mantra and junior high is the front lines of when lives change. This philosophy keeps me dodging and weaving through the weeks.

Then last week, I lost a student. Not to schedule changes, failing core classes, just not digging orchestra or moving-seen plenty of all of those. He committed suicide. He was a second year cello student. I actually kind of yelled at him that day to fix his posture, but honestly I got in his face every other week about his posture. His mom and me actually emailed each other that day.

I kind of feel like I failed the changing lives through music. I know I couldn't of done much. Everyone agrees it came out of nowhere. I honestly don't blame myself. But its still a shame. I am the rocks and metal that shape the water and here I am drowning in powerlessness.

I take control. I act and will not be a victim that is acted upon. But if there is a yang, there must be a yin. If I can take control, I must be able to relinquish. I must accept being acted upon.

With the death of the student, I can't do much about it (pray, help the impacted students...that's about it). Its done. I accept its done. It will wash over me until it decides that its done also.

However, both the yin and the yang are good and correct at the appropriate times. One of my sacred memories of my dad was when he would begin to get angry and then think and decide not to get mad. His changes working in a negative situation became a real positive to me.

If I can deal with this situation this with grace, it will be using the negative situation's energy against itself.

After I yield (hopefully not too long, eh?), the wheel of life will continue to turn. Life and light will be tightly treasured---and rightfully so.